Dentition

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Location: Barcelona, Spain

Jacob was in dental school. He frequently started conversations with girls by telling them they had excellent dentition.

"Dentition" is a real word. It means the arrangement and condition of teeth.

I didn't know that at the time. I was hearing "dentician," which is not a real word, but seems like maybe a fancy Latin way of saying dentist. So I was hearing "you have excellent dentist" and it annoyed me every time.

Jacob also had a girlfriend at the time. He would often start conversations with girls by telling them he had a girlfriend, and showing them a picture of the girlfriend that he kept in his wallet. He wasn't necessarily hitting on the girls, but it did seem a lot like the episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza wears a wedding band to attract attention from women.

On our last day in Barcelona, we had a few hours to kill before catching the train, so we did our duty as tourists and trudged through the 100-degree heat to the natural history museum. 

The museum was basically empty. There were two security guards and a female museum attendant standing near the front desk when we walked in. The museum attendant was young and stunningly attractive. In the sense of, we were literally stunned when we saw her. She locked eyes with Jacob and explained some stuff about the museum in a tone of voice best described as 'sultry.'

She followed us around the museum from a distance, which was probably her job. Every once in a while she would approach us to let us know which direction we were supposed to be going in.

At one point, Jacob and I were looking at a display case with life-sized chimpanzees. One was baring its fangs.

"I wouldn't want to fuck with that chimp," Jacob commented.

The museum attendant appeared from behind the display case and replied, "what would you like to fuck with?"

Jacob did not pursue the attendant. We all have mixed feelings about that.

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